January 16, 1919, was a dark
day for America. The 18th Amendment passed, prohibiting the manufacture,
sale, and transportation of intoxicating liquors in the United States. The
Volstead Act was passed to lay out the guidelines for enforcing the 18th
Amendment. On January 16, 1920, America went dry. Well, it went mostly dry.
What a sad day that had to have been! People watched as barrels and barrels of liquid sunshine were dumped into the sewers, never to be enjoyed by a single soul.
Exceptions and exemptions
exist like many laws that strip people of the freedom to do what they enjoy.
Physicians were allowed to prescribe limited amounts of whiskey to patients. As
you would suspect, you had to go to a pharmacist to get a prescription filled.
That being said, a pharmacist would have to obtain said medicinal whiskey from
a distillery, which meant distilleries needed to remain open.
A total of six distilleries
were granted licenses to distill whiskey. The rest were shuttered or converted
to other purposes.
Can you imagine what
obtaining whiskey would be like in today’s America if Prohibition was still in
place?
I am thirsty, and I’m at
home. I plop down in front of the TV to relax. Low and behold, a commercial
comes on, and it goes a little something like this:
Do you find yourself
stressed out at the end of your day? Do you have trouble relaxing? Are you
irritable and frequently experiencing difficulty socializing with others? If
so, Buffalo Trace Bourbon Whiskey may be the answer. Buffalo Trace
Bourbon Whiskey has been found to help people unwind and pull the stick out of
their butts. Buffalo Trace Bourbon Whiskey also helps break the ice in those
awkward social situations. Results happen in as little as 15 minutes. Studies
have shown some people may experience significant relaxation, leading to
unplanned, immediate sleep or an uncontrollable urge to say, “I
love you, man!” to everyone they come in contact with. In extreme cases,
excess use of Buffalo Trace Bourbon Whiskey may lead to hugging your toilet all
night. People should not drive or operate heavy machinery while under the
influence of Buffalo Trace Bourbon Whiskey. Be sure to ask your doctor if
Buffalo Trace Bourbon Whiskey is right for you.
Now we’re talking! Time to
call a doctor and make an appointment to get a prescription.
“Hi, this is Jeff. I’m
trying to make an appointment with Dr. J. Beam. I’m just really stressed all
the time and would like to see him as soon as possible… What? Six weeks?
Argh!!!! [Sigh] Okay.”
Six long, arduous weeks
pass, and I’m finally able to see Dr. Beam. I explain that I’m stressed out, having
trouble relaxing, sometimes irritable, and I experience difficulty socializing
with others.
“Hey doc, I heard about this
thing called Buffalo Trace Bourbon Whiskey. Might that be right for me?”
Dr. Beam says, “Sure! Let
me write you a prescription!”
Bam! Awesome! Finally, this
nightmare is going to end! Time to get me some Thunder Juice!
I arrive at my local
pharmacy with my prescription for one pint of Buffalo Trace Bourbon Whiskey.
I’m happy as a pup with a new chew bone. I hand my prescription to the clerk.
“What’s that? Sure, I have
my insurance card! Yes, no problem, I can wait 15 minutes.”
I’m browsing the aisles,
looking at the various products, just killing time. I’ve got a big smile on my
face because I’ve figured it all out. Fifteen short minutes later, the
pharmacist calls my name. She asks me if I’ve ever had whiskey before, and I tell
her I have, and it works fine. We talked briefly about the side effects, and if
I experience any, I need to contact Dr. Beam immediately.
“Yes, yes, thank you. Have a
great day!”
As I walked away and opened
the bag to retrieve my medicinal elixir, I noticed it was not what my doctor
had prescribed. I march back to the counter, hand the bottle to the pharmacist,
and ask, “What’s this? I was supposed to get Buffalo Trace!”
“That’s Bison Tinge. It is a
generic for Buffalo Trace. Don’t worry, it is the same thing.”
“No, no, it isn’t the same
thing at all. I want Buffalo Trace like my doctor ordered!”
Unfortunately, due to my
prescription coverage, my insurance will only pay for Bison Tinge. Still, I can
pay the full retail rate of $500 for the pint of Buffalo Trace out of my
pocket…
“UGH! I’ve had enough of
this version of America! Take me back to where whiskey is plentiful!”
Thankfully, in 1933,
Congress proposed the 21st Amendment. On December 5th of that year, Utah
cast the 36th vote, bringing an end to this horror and preventing all of us
from having to deal with any of that crap. Many of us refer to December 5th as Repeal
Day, and we celebrate in style. God bless America, and don’t forget to ask
your doctor if Buffalo Trace Bourbon Whiskey is right for you.
Cheers!
My Simple, Easy-to-Understand
Rating System
- Bottle = Buy It
- Bar = Try It
- Bust = Leave It
Whiskeyfellow encourages
you to enjoy your whiskey as you see fit but begs you to do so responsibly.
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As we should drink in moderation, all comments are subject to it. Cheers!